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Sure, online newspapers are great. You’re publishing at the speed of light, you’ve got multimedia options galore, you’re and ������ badges like nobody’s business. Plus, your website sure looks fancy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you ever get nostalgic for the crinkly newsprint of yore? Do you miss the good old days of embarrassing typos and frantic print deadlines? Maybe you just want something to send your web-illiterate uncle to prove you’re doing something with your life.

������ has a solution for you! Starting today, we’re launching SNNO–School Newspapers Not Online. With just a few clicks and a $99/month convenience charge, we can give you the best of both worlds. Not only will you continue to have a great website, but every time you publish a new story, we’ll print it out and send it to you in the mail. Using the File>Print function of our state-of-the-art computing machines, we can effortlessly immortalize your digital content on paper. What other web hosting company can claim that?

Do you publish a lot of videos? No problem — we’ll print ‘em frame-by-frame and bind them together in a beautiful, timeless flipbook. A thoughtful gift for that friend of yours who is a little too smug about not owning a television.

What about podcasts? Our podcast transcription service (currently in beta) can take care of that. Word-for-word accuracy not guaranteed, but people will get the gist, probably.

Prefer your “printing” old-school? Our SNNO Handwriting Specialist, , will be happy to painstakingly hand-write your stories. Customize with your choice of blue pen, black pen, #2 pencil, or crayon. Grammar correction and fact-checking extra.

Need your stories in print RIGHT NOW? If you’re rushing to enter a contest, or are just feeling impatient, don’t despair! Expedite your order for only $15/page, and we’ll send the printed stories to you via fax.

If you’re ready to get started with SNNO today, it’s easy–just send a tweet to . Include the hashtag #FOOLEDYA for 10% off your first month’s subscription fee.